


The Dungeons & Dragons Incident

by naasad



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Canon-typical language, Dungeons & Dragons Campaign, Fluff, Humor, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-26 02:30:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18174644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naasad/pseuds/naasad
Summary: "Just like that."





	The Dungeons & Dragons Incident

**Author's Note:**

> Based off the art I did [here!](https://autistic-lesamis.tumblr.com/post/183579459879/the-dungeons-dragons-incident)

"Okay," Simmons said, "so your party enters the tavern. You see a green dragonborn behind the bar. He's wearing very ratty, patched clothes. Definitely very toughly loved. There are about a half-dozen halflings scattered around the other tables, some drinking, some playing cards. And then in the far corner, you see a half-elf. Wash, would you please describe your char-"

 _ **"I ROLL FOR SEDUCTION!"**_ Sarge hollered.

"Sarge you can't - _what?"_ Simmons spluttered a moment, then nodded. "Okay, fine. So you walk up to the half-elf and what do you do?"

Sarge grinned and propped his elbow up on the table, winking. "'Hey, beautiful. You look finer'n a frog hair split four ways. Got room at this table for one more?' Just like that."

"Okay, roll a d20. Wash, would you like to roll against him?"

Wash shrugged. "What do I do?"

Simmons pointed to his dice tray. "Roll a twenty-sided die, and so will Sarge. If you roll higher than he does, you get to decide whatever happens next, if he rolls higher, then I guess you're seduced."

"Just a straight roll?" Donut asked, leaning over Wash's shoulder. "Or should they add Charisma?"

Simmons bit his lip then nodded. "Yeah, go ahead and add Charisma."

"Sixteen," Sarge called, "plus one. Seventeen."

Grif cleared his throat. "Firg Retxed is going to get himself a drink."

"Fancy or basic? Nevermind, they only have basic. Two copper."

"Does it taste like piss?"

"Yes."

"... _Is_ it piss?"

Wash rolled his die and Donut yelped. "Twenty plus...."

"Natural twenty!"

All heads turned.

Simmons blinked in shock. "On your first roll of your first session of your first game, you rolled a natural twenty?!"

Wash grimaced. "Is that... good?"

Simmons shook his head in amazement. "What do you want to do, Wash? You can do anything you want."

"Anything I want?"

"Anything."

"Hm, let me think." Wash leaned back in his chair a moment before nodding decisively and crawling over the table to cup Sarge's face in his hands and press a determined kiss to his bearded face.

Sarge kissed back eagerly, grinning against Wash's mouth. His eyes fluttered shut as their lips moved in tandem, and one of his hands came up to cup the back of Wash's head, threading through his hair and holding firm.

Donut squealed.

Simmons gaped.

Grif gagged. "I think I saw tongue."

Wash pulled back just slightly for a final, chaste peck - and then another just to be sure - then he crawled back to his seat, looking smug as a cat and winked. "Just like that."

**Author's Note:**

> [MORE ART!](https://autistic-lesamis.tumblr.com/post/183601701709/artwork-based-on-the-fic-i-wrote-based-on-the-art)


End file.
